emote.abuse.emote.

Sometimes words spill out of me like hot lava.

I cannot control the damage it causes

and so I sit there in a numb trance

observing as if I was only a subtle wallflower instead of a clumsy glowing waste of space. Sometimes I am too honest

and sometimes I lie so hard I half expect my teeth to rattle out onto the floor

making small clanging sounds like tiny bell tolls.

Most times,

I am too quiet.

Hands wrapped around my mouth which caps off the bottle inside my sternum.

"I KNOW WHEN YOU LIE

AND WHEN I KNOW YOU ARE LYING MY INSIDES START BLEEDING

GET OUT!

LET ME BLEED IN PEACE."

The proclamations zing around and around

orbiting like Sun and Earth

never escaping.

I know it is better this way.

Both you and the orbiting pain create a familiar space for me

And for both to disappear would mean a

vast

dark

newness

that I could not possibly comprehend.